This is my premiere as a blogger. I dont really know why I'm here, besides that blogging really helped me when I was an angsty teenager. Im no longer a teenager, and Im completely non-angsty but sometimes I just feel like I have so many thoughts that need to go somewhere. And unlike when I was blogging as a teenager, this time Im just doing it for me, not to amuse a whole group of cyber-friends.
Right now Im lazing on my couch in the basement watching What Women Want on cable, with my laptop on my lap. Ahh the good days of relaxation. I appreciate quiet days at home so much more these days, since my days at the hospital are anything but relaxing. Sometimes I feel guilty... like I should be out being productive, working out, etc. But that guilt doesnt last very long since Im obviously still here, doing nothing.
I have become such a loner lately. Even before John and I broke up, I was a loner. In fact I think thats a main thing that led to our breakup. He couldnt understand/believe that I like being by myself with my own thoughts. Dont get me wrong, I do appreicate a good time with some friends, but I dont feel the need to validate my existence through the endless interactions with people. Maybe a lot of that has to do with the fact that when Im at the hospital Im endlessly with people, never alone. Or maybe Im just lazy and dont want to expend effort on social interaction. Being alone is simple, I only have to worry about pleasing myself.
Though tonight I will be social. Dan is coming over for dinner and a movie. I like when its just Dan and I... I dont feel like I have to act a certain way, be a certain way. I'm comfortable.
Christie=out.
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